Three Women Accused Of Robbing Men At Gunpoint For Their Semen

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In KwaZakhele township, South Africa, local news media obtained a police report which described a 33-year-old who was allegedly taken hostage on Tuesday morning by three women in a black BMW and then sexually assaulted by his captors.

Eastern Cape police are currently on the lookout for three women who, after spotting the pedestrian on the side of the road, pulled over to ask him for directions. When they caught him off guard, one of the women put a gun in his face and then they forced him into the automobile for quite the ride.

“They drove into a thoroughfare 500m away,” said Constable Mncedi Mbombo. “They parked the car and fondled him to get an erection.”

The fondling continued. “His penis could not get erect,” Mbombo added. “They then forced him to drink an unknown substance from a bottle. This got him aroused quickly even though he was still scared and didn’t want to have sex.”

Every time the man came, the women put the semen inside of different vials and stored them in a cooler box. Then they abandoned the man on the side of the road.

Everyone is so fucking confused in KwaZakhele township. “We have never heard of such a thing before,” said Mbombo. “The man was fully conscious throughout his ordeal and he is still traumatized.”

In other car-jacking-off news, a 27-year-old high school English teacher worked over one of her students’ penises in the school parking lot in March. The investigation is ongoing.

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